Prologue
Who am I? This question is forever looming in the air waiting for my response. How am I supposed to answer such a simple yet sophisticated question? Through the use of my dispersed bolded tweets, my distinctive streams of consciousness, and my metaphor of place, this Twitterive explores my interpretation of my identity. You would never refer to Barnes&Noble as the informatin desk, the cafe, the newsstand, the bookshelves, the children's section, the music center, or the checkout counter solely; rather, you would combine all the components under one name. The same goes for me, Miss Lindsey Brooke Clay; I am a collection of the teacher, the student, the nerd, the perfectionist, and the hopeless romantic. Where is the repetend you ask? Simple- a chapter in the life of Lindsey.
Information Desk
Come on now, don’t be scared. I know exactly what you are looking for. Approach that shelf and pick up my book. Yes I know, the binding is a little bent at first glance and the protagonist seems a bit schizophrenic according to the reviews, but I promise you’ll grow to love her! I must warn you that although my setting is simple, my story is rather complex, so why don’t you go treat yourself to some Starbucks and Cheesecake Factory treats and meet me back at this lounge chair ready to escape into a chapter in the life of Lindsey …
The Teacher
This is so exciting! I love doing this! Dori is going to love Barnes&Noble! I have studied the book report list and narrowed it down to some choices that I know will peak her interest. The key is to point out what she will like in each book. Heck, I cut the list in half just by scribbling out her common complaints about reading. I can hear her now, “How many pages is it? Are there pictures? Is it going to make me use the dictionary? Are the characters old? Ok I guess I’ll read it!” O, right. I should try to remember to bring her to story time one day. Come to think of it why don’t they have story time for adults? I’d love to sit crisscross applesauce and be read to in those lively voices! That’s a thought for another day though, for today my goal is to keep Dori from making the most common student mistake- judging a book by its cover. Then again, those are just a few words from a chapter in the life of Lindsey...
The Student
O my word. I am so tired! I had better get some caffeine in me if I plan on getting anything accomplished. They should have a VIP line or a Venti Card for students like me who basically pay their electric bill with my coffee addiction…Finally- mmm! Starbucks should be called heaven in a cup! Every sip is a tango for my taste buds. Anyway, my tutor should be here any minute to go over grammar, so I better get out my 52 highlighters and tab the answer key. It's ridiculous really that I should have to meet with a tutor. My GPA would allude to the fact that I could handle this class, so why am I struggling? I've passed all my Elementary Education classes with flying colors, yet Writing Arts seems to present more challenges. Then again, passion brings perseverance, so that would make sense. Well, it is time to down the caffeine, sharpen my pencils, and study a chapter in the life of Lindsey...
Grammar Tutoring Monday @ 6:15
Tutor: So what are we working on today?
Student: Well, I think I have a pretty good grasp on chapter 5 minus the tickets that come off of prepositions, so let’s try chapter 6.
Tutor: Have you had a chance to look at the reading yet?
Student: Yes, I have taken notes on everything that was bolded about noun clauses. I know that they are embedded and essential. I can identify when they are functioning as a subject, subjective complement, direct object, and even an appositive, but the object of the preposition and the objective complement can trip me up.
Tutor: That’s not bad, you’ll get the preposition. You simply need to remember not to forget the 2 word prepositions and the word to.
Student: Exactly! Now as far as the noun clauses are concerned, I think I might make an index card of which interrogatives get diagramed as what part of speech. The expletives are easier, though.
Tutor: That would be a good idea, but remember that if you know what question adverbs answer: Where? Why? How? Under what condition? For what purpose? You will be able to know which words will correspond. The same goes for nouns and adjectives.
Student: Right, I can recognize them when that is all I am looking for, yet when you put it all together, I get tripped up because I am looking for too many things at once.
Tutor: Why don’t we look at some of the exercises and talk through the correct order you should be following. You have developed an order, correct?
Student: Well, I wasn’t following an order that worked for me until today when the teacher suggested steps to follow. Of course, it starts with identifying prepositions just like before. Then, instead of looking for independent and dependent clauses next, she wants us to identify verbs first. I should have thought of that because that helps me locate the distinction between clauses. The rest of the order is the same with identifying sentence patterns and diagramming.
Tutor: Definitely start with identifying prepositions so that they won’t trip up your sentence pattern later! Also, remember that noun clauses are ALWAYS diagrammed on pedestals. So why don’t we verbally walk through the any problems that gave you trouble in chapter 6.
Student: How about number 6: “How Erica would handle her new fortune was what all of us wondered.” How is this a complex sentence when they are both dependent noun clauses diagrammed on pedestals?
Tutor: Well, unfortunately all sentences aren’t clear cut. This sentence in particular is complex because despite the two dependent clauses, when put together they form an independent clause.
Student: Stupid English with all its exceptions to the rules. How about number 7?
Tutor: Go through your order and we will see where the problem arises.
Student: Ok. “About where we could find half-price theatre tickets” is a prepositional phrase.
Tutor: Right, now what are your verbs and what kind are they?
Student: “Could find” and “helped” are both transitive verbs.
Tutor: Ok, and what is your noun clause?
Student: “Where we could find half-price theatre tickets.” It is working as the object of the preposition.
Tutor: You’ve got it. Now what is the rest of the sentence?
Student: The independent clause.
Tutor: What patterns are present in this sentence?
Student: The sentence and the noun clause are both pattern 7, which is subject- transitive verb - direct object.
Tutor: Excellent! Remember when you are diagramming to make the pedestal off of the verb, not the subject, because the preposition is an adverb modifying announcement.
Student: Like this?
Tutor: Let's see... yes!
Student: Why are these sentences so much easier when you are here, but when you leave I am so confused!
Tutor: I don’t know; sorry dear!
Student: They were the only problems from chapter 6 that I had questions on so far. I still have to do the chapter 6 Review questions.
Tutor: Well, you do those and we can go over them next week. Do you want me to give you my Spark Notes for chapter 7, so you will have an easier time working on it independently before we meet again?
Student: That would be lovely!
Tutor: Ok. Ah, the adverb clause and relative clause…
Student: Well, I think I have a pretty good grasp on chapter 5 minus the tickets that come off of prepositions, so let’s try chapter 6.
Tutor: Have you had a chance to look at the reading yet?
Student: Yes, I have taken notes on everything that was bolded about noun clauses. I know that they are embedded and essential. I can identify when they are functioning as a subject, subjective complement, direct object, and even an appositive, but the object of the preposition and the objective complement can trip me up.
Tutor: That’s not bad, you’ll get the preposition. You simply need to remember not to forget the 2 word prepositions and the word to.
Student: Exactly! Now as far as the noun clauses are concerned, I think I might make an index card of which interrogatives get diagramed as what part of speech. The expletives are easier, though.
Tutor: That would be a good idea, but remember that if you know what question adverbs answer: Where? Why? How? Under what condition? For what purpose? You will be able to know which words will correspond. The same goes for nouns and adjectives.
Student: Right, I can recognize them when that is all I am looking for, yet when you put it all together, I get tripped up because I am looking for too many things at once.
Tutor: Why don’t we look at some of the exercises and talk through the correct order you should be following. You have developed an order, correct?
Student: Well, I wasn’t following an order that worked for me until today when the teacher suggested steps to follow. Of course, it starts with identifying prepositions just like before. Then, instead of looking for independent and dependent clauses next, she wants us to identify verbs first. I should have thought of that because that helps me locate the distinction between clauses. The rest of the order is the same with identifying sentence patterns and diagramming.
Tutor: Definitely start with identifying prepositions so that they won’t trip up your sentence pattern later! Also, remember that noun clauses are ALWAYS diagrammed on pedestals. So why don’t we verbally walk through the any problems that gave you trouble in chapter 6.
Student: How about number 6: “How Erica would handle her new fortune was what all of us wondered.” How is this a complex sentence when they are both dependent noun clauses diagrammed on pedestals?
Tutor: Well, unfortunately all sentences aren’t clear cut. This sentence in particular is complex because despite the two dependent clauses, when put together they form an independent clause.
Student: Stupid English with all its exceptions to the rules. How about number 7?
Tutor: Go through your order and we will see where the problem arises.
Student: Ok. “About where we could find half-price theatre tickets” is a prepositional phrase.
Tutor: Right, now what are your verbs and what kind are they?
Student: “Could find” and “helped” are both transitive verbs.
Tutor: Ok, and what is your noun clause?
Student: “Where we could find half-price theatre tickets.” It is working as the object of the preposition.
Tutor: You’ve got it. Now what is the rest of the sentence?
Student: The independent clause.
Tutor: What patterns are present in this sentence?
Student: The sentence and the noun clause are both pattern 7, which is subject- transitive verb - direct object.
Tutor: Excellent! Remember when you are diagramming to make the pedestal off of the verb, not the subject, because the preposition is an adverb modifying announcement.
Student: Like this?
Tutor: Let's see... yes!
Student: Why are these sentences so much easier when you are here, but when you leave I am so confused!
Tutor: I don’t know; sorry dear!
Student: They were the only problems from chapter 6 that I had questions on so far. I still have to do the chapter 6 Review questions.
Tutor: Well, you do those and we can go over them next week. Do you want me to give you my Spark Notes for chapter 7, so you will have an easier time working on it independently before we meet again?
Student: That would be lovely!
Tutor: Ok. Ah, the adverb clause and relative clause…
The Nerd
Ah! What a perfect lullaby! I love snuggling up with a book. What isn’t there to love? Every story I could ever dream up is on the shelf somewhere. Then again, I could spend hours just staring at the pages, contemplating the piece of art. I love watching the black letters gossip between the margins. Sometimes I even take a detour from the story and analyze the words from a writer’s perspective. I’ll take notes of juicy words and rich metaphors. Pretending I’m the author is a well visited place of my imagination too! They say that paper is the only thing that can hear your heart, so I use the author’s story to create a scandalous backdrop fit for the tabloids that I convince myself authors intend for the active readers to pick up on. Which brings me to the most mind-bottling question of all: If every author has an intention and every reader has an interpretation, why does society let book reviews impact their opinion? I know I have fallen victim to this before, but now I allow myself to get lost in the smell of the turning pages and write my own review at the end. Next on my list of "Must Reads" is a chapter in the life of Lindsey…
Fiction resides in Neverland
Dressed in an array of colors
Submitting to the will of the imagination
Romance accelerates the heart
Draped in shades of red
Proposing irresistible passion
Inspiration lingers in the margins
Appearing simple yet complex
Influencing our thoughts and feelings
Humor dives under the surface
Masked in a series of costumes
Alleviating the atmosphere
Mysteries unfold in the unexpected hour
Hiding behind a dark veil
Provoking our suspicions and instincts
Dressed in an array of colors
Submitting to the will of the imagination
Romance accelerates the heart
Draped in shades of red
Proposing irresistible passion
Inspiration lingers in the margins
Appearing simple yet complex
Influencing our thoughts and feelings
Humor dives under the surface
Masked in a series of costumes
Alleviating the atmosphere
Mysteries unfold in the unexpected hour
Hiding behind a dark veil
Provoking our suspicions and instincts
The Perfectionist
Perfectionist, perfectionist… What does that mean exactly anyways? Perhaps I do cross all my t's and dot all my i's, but that's what I am supposed to do, right? There has to be a how-to manual on perfection somewhere. I bet I could ask at the information desk. Then again, wouldn't looking at the answers be like cheating, which is clearly against the idea a perfectionist. Wow this job is hard, and I never get a single day off because guess who's the boss? That's right me. I really do have good reasons though. Think about it if I so much as take a breather who will run their errands, complete the assignments, or tend to others' needs? Mhm, just as I suspected- you're speechless. I even do these things with a smile on my face and heels on my feet if you can believe that. O my! Look at the time. Well, it looks like my tasks in the margin will be carrying over to next week when I sit at this café table at precisely 4:00 p.m. enjoying my personal favorites- internal dialogue and a chapter in the life of Lindsey...
I enter the café, offer my dissertation of an order, and feel I’ve earned every word. I make my way to the corner seat, pull out a pen and write Expectations, with a capital E on the back of the grey napkin. Most people would probably call this a to do list, but to me that never seems to carry the weight of what is to follow. Certainly there are some monotonous tasks like running errands, making appointments, and cleaning house, yet more lines are filled with obligations of my full time job, being a student: read this, analyze that, and write my thoughts; however, these aren’t the most dreaded words committed to this napkin. The biggest challenges are the idealistic standards repeated in the margins week after week — practice patience, take risks, exude confidence, offer forgiveness, demonstrate selflessness, applaud humility, develop trust, exercise vulnerability, radiate love, and above all cheat perfection. They are seemingly unobtainable, but entangle themselves with the tasks they surround. I pause and try to think of a way to see more things on my list scribbled out, but my phone begins to ring. Why can’t everyone prefer texting to phone calls? At least that way I could have a written reminder of what is expected of me. After a mhm, ok, I’ll add it to my list, and an I love you, I sit back, drop my pen, and sip from my coffee cup now that the grey steam has disappeared.
I enter the café, offer my dissertation of an order, and feel I’ve earned every word. I make my way to the corner seat, pull out a pen and write Expectations, with a capital E on the back of the grey napkin. Most people would probably call this a to do list, but to me that never seems to carry the weight of what is to follow. Certainly there are some monotonous tasks like running errands, making appointments, and cleaning house, yet more lines are filled with obligations of my full time job, being a student: read this, analyze that, and write my thoughts; however, these aren’t the most dreaded words committed to this napkin. The biggest challenges are the idealistic standards repeated in the margins week after week — practice patience, take risks, exude confidence, offer forgiveness, demonstrate selflessness, applaud humility, develop trust, exercise vulnerability, radiate love, and above all cheat perfection. They are seemingly unobtainable, but entangle themselves with the tasks they surround. I pause and try to think of a way to see more things on my list scribbled out, but my phone begins to ring. Why can’t everyone prefer texting to phone calls? At least that way I could have a written reminder of what is expected of me. After a mhm, ok, I’ll add it to my list, and an I love you, I sit back, drop my pen, and sip from my coffee cup now that the grey steam has disappeared.
The Hopeless Romantic
O it has been too long! How I have missed playing hide-and-seek with the rows of cut off titles in search of "The Knot." Let’s see Brides? No! Real Simple Weddings? No! Forever? No! Ah yes, there you are. Come to me so I can fall in love with you this month and regain that sparkle in my eye! Heck yes! This issue has this year’s top 50 wedding venues! Wow! That dress is to die for. I better write that down. Yes, I am now a fan of Angela Wilson’s designs. Aww I never thought of doing a vintage theme! I wonder what colors I will go with. Mhm I definitely agree, the photographer is definitely one of the most important parts of the wedding budget. I can skip these pages; I already know I want lilies. Hold up! Did my wedding song make the charts? Heck yes it did: “You wear white and I’ll wear out the words I love you and you’re beautiful." Speaking of beautiful, I think I am finally figuring the character out in a chapter in the life of Lindsey...
The Checkout Counter
So I see that you have bought into the way my mind works. Now, just to make sure you are getting your money's worth let me give you a review of a chapter in the life of Lindsey...
How hard it is to escape from places.
However carefully one goes they hold you -
you leave little bits of yourself fluttering on the fences -
like rags and shreds of your very life.
~Katherine Mansfield
So...
No, teacher, the lesson cannot be taught.
No, student, the lesson cannot be learned.
No, nerd, the lesson should not be analyzed.
No, perfectionist, the lesson has no right answer.
No, hopeless romantic, the lesson need not be romanticized.
The answer lies within finding you- and having each part remember its cue!
However carefully one goes they hold you -
you leave little bits of yourself fluttering on the fences -
like rags and shreds of your very life.
~Katherine Mansfield
So...
No, teacher, the lesson cannot be taught.
No, student, the lesson cannot be learned.
No, nerd, the lesson should not be analyzed.
No, perfectionist, the lesson has no right answer.
No, hopeless romantic, the lesson need not be romanticized.
The answer lies within finding you- and having each part remember its cue!
